Dear Fans,
I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.
It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.
I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.

Love, Britney


Quote of the month...
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. Youre not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.

[Estado de Animo: mejor jejejeje ]
[wearing: rayas ]

El viernes pasado fue de lo mas surrealista, yo taba trabajando y 3 personas me proponen salir en diferentes parentesis de tiempo alejados por un intervalo relativamente opuesto a [...] y DIJE bueno... vale, me apetece.... TOTAL QUE EL VIERNES EN LA NOCHE ME ECONTRABA EN CASA A LAS 10 DE LA NOCHE VESTIDO PARA SALIR Y CON INVITACiONES PARA UNA DISCOTECA CERCA DE MI TRABAJO QUE SE LLAMA BANGALOO (que tambien tiene ristorante)

El caso es que iba con mis primas y claro, estabamos cortados por que era un sitio demasiado pijo y a mi me repateaba entrar alli, pero una periodista le pregunta a un pollo que estaba con pintas de chuloputas "sabemos que tienes de artista invitado a Beyonce..." AND I WAS LIKE WHAT?!?!?!??!! entonces fue cuando Cindywey me cogio del brazo y como si de Misae Arrastrando a Shin Chan se tratase me llevo hasta la entrada y entrego las entradas y nos metimos como alma que lleva el diablo.. y... ALLI ESTABA!!!! BEYONCE! DE ESPALDAS! HABLANDO CON OTRO CHULOPUTAS (y una mujer que me suena su cara pero no la repare muy bien por que se me caia la baba)

[Estado de Animo: ]
[wearing: ]

La comunion de Yuliana

No creo que haya una epoca concreta, creo que fue cambiando poco a poco, ademas todo esto es culpa de las tiendas, ojala yo me fabricara mi propia ropa, seria genial (risas)

las cosas nunca mueren sin mas, mira que ahora se estan usando los pantalones rectos y no es algo que sea nuevo, pienso que el look que deje atras es algo por lo que tuve que pasar para poder encontrar esa madurez estilistica que buscamos, algunos mas desesperados que otros, yo por ejemplo siempre elegi ropa que me fuera comoda y nunca renunciare a unos buenos zapatos siempre que sean confortables, tanto si son retros como si son el ultimo grito de la moda.

tienes alguna prenda de vestir en tu armario que ya no te pondrias ni loco?

Todo lo que me han regalado (algunas excepciones tengo) casi nunca lo uso, es que soy muy especial con el tema "ropa". No es que lo haga con mala intencion ni sea un raro... Es simplemente que no consivo ponerme algo que no haya escojido yo previamente.

Esos pantalones anchos forman un poco parte de mi pasado, y creo que con ellos he pasado de pagina, lo que no quiere decir que no me los volvere a poner, no soy ni mucho menos un fashion victim, es que ahora mismo me siento mejor llevando los pantalones que uso ahora, aunque tenga pocos.

NUNCA! (risas) me han gustado de siempre, si quieres acertar con un regalo para mi, comprame una camiseta original y chula. Simplemente me encantan.

Soy un poco raro, no tengo ningun estilismo definido, mas bien pico de aqui y alla aunque me considero muy normalito. como diria mi prima angela, soy "neochentero" aunque no se donde ve eso la verdad (mas risas)

solo si la ocasion asi lo requiere, y lo de las faldas para hombres, no es nada nuevo. Claro que, siempre que salga una prenda al mercado tengo que ver cuan comoda es y si me favorece, es tengo unas piernas horribles! (risas)

dificil eleccion, yo creo que nada, llevo exactamente lo que quiero llevar.

para Moises David Paez Marin

[Estado de Animo: eshtom... GUapaaaaaaAAA xD]
[wearing: polo polito polo ]

me encanta la peluca!!! xDD